Monday, February 9, 2009
Eh.
I'm bored and tired, and sick. I'm supposed to be revising my paper to include some really cool data I took last week, but I can't focus 'cause I'm sick. But that doesn't address the boredom. I've been wondering lately if this is really what I love, and am I smart enough? I like chemistry, and when I'm working on a project I think I love my research but lately I've just been really tired and unmotivated. I don't know what I want. I feel like I should be enthralled by the literature and passionate about what I do. I should have been thrilled about the conference this week instead of bored through some of the talks. Then, am I smart enough? Sometimes I feel like I'd fail basic general chemistry if I had to take it right now. I mean, I can do the advanced stuff but I think I've forgotten all of my basics. Maybe it's because I'm sick, and I feel too guilty about missing work to stay home like I should.
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2 comments:
Take it from a fellow chemistry grad student who has voiced all those worries and fears aloud, you are not alone! We all go through this and feel like this from time to time. And it is most definitely worse when we are ill.
The second year of my PhD was day after day of, I should be more interested, I should care more, why can't I be arsed do this work, maybe this isn't for me. But eventually I broke out of my slump. And that's (hopefully) what this is. And it will pass. But it will suck while it is hanging around. I have made it to my fourth year and am finsihing up now. As time goes on I have developed a whole lot more confidence in myself and my abilities. I bet half our lecturers would fail basic chem without a cramming session!
I do hope you're feeling better both physically, and about everything, soon xx
Thanks for the solidarity, and well wishes. Good luck with your thesis :)
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